I have realized that ‘Freedom to be Me’ is one big factor that makes me happy.
The desire to be someone else
People nurture a burning desire or face pressure to be someone else. I too had that desire at some point in time. But all that changed many years ago.
Those who know me well can tell that I am a person quite comfortable in my own world. I love my world of ideas and thoughts. I love conceptualizing, thinking and planning…and of course, writing.
This is not to say that I hate going out or dislike meeting people. It is not that I lack social skills or get nervous among people. In fact, far from it!
Operating in two worlds
It is just that I see myself as a person operating in two worlds – the native world and the foreign world, if you may! The native world is ‘my world’ and the foreign world is where I need to be to transact business with others. Once the transactions are over, I quickly and quietly slip back into ‘my world’ – seamlessly!
For a long time in my life, my desire to be someone else pushed me to do things that I didn’t really enjoy. I would keep trying and feel awkward about it. I also realized that I was a pretty poor actor trying to fit into some alien role. Sometimes it was so bad that I could catch myself slipping on my own acting.
Something happened
And then something happened – call it finding my life purpose or finding the courage to be myself or understanding the futility to become someone else. This is also the time when I began feeling proud of myself, the way I am, in a way that was complete and wholesome. I slowly began peeling away the gossamer films clinging to my skin as masks…to finally become Me.
Today, I am very open about who I am and who I am not. I feel liberated and certainly lighter. It has opened up a whole new world of authenticity, energy, and joy. I am not bothered – let me quickly add, quite respectfully, about what others think, feel or say.
In my view, it is critical to be fully connected with who we are. We are not meant to be someone else. If that were the idea, we would have been that ‘someone’.
Coming to think of it, if you don’t become yourself, who else will?
PS: I was pleasantly surprised, reading the November edition of the National Geographic Magazine article, The World’s Happiest Places. One of the 6 factors for happiness as per the World Happiness Report is ‘freedom to live the life that’s right for you’.
Wow! Now THAT makes complete sense.
May I help you discover who you really are? I use the 5 Question technique to start with. Contact me at [email protected].
Let’s discover you!
hi sir Hema here
After reading i felt mirroring myself.Because I as a person never been as Hema its always daughter and granddaughter of my pappa and thatha.
always wearing this mask like being a person what others wanted me to be and I started thinking who I’m.. but in reality im not able to put off my mask as well.
But while reading your expression it helped me to realize that you should be a person who you want to be.. but I never know in reality will I really can be Who I Want to Be.?
Waiting to hear from you.
Thank you.
Dear Hema, It is great to hear from you. What you are experiencing is not unusual, given that the majority of us have made ‘obedience’, the basis of our lives. We have to consciously move towards ‘opinion’. It is not easy but at the same time, it is not difficult. It requires conscious sustained work.
I would recommend having an opinion on everything that matters – your own opinion. Once you have your opinion, begin expressing it, first with people who will give you that space. Once you begin respecting your own opinion, you will begin expressing yourself. This is the beginning of ‘Being Me’.
All the best!
Ramanan