When I heard those three words from a person of such stature, I was stunned. I just could not believe it. My mind was racing ahead. Did I hear it correctly? Did this really happen?
I was at the organization’s Town Hall event in which hundreds of employees gather to get a status update about where the organization is headed. A part of the Town Hall event is an interactive session with the organization’s Leader who gets on the stage and employees direct their questions to him or her.
In this case, it was the expatriate CEO, the most powerful man in the organization, on the stage. The Q&A session was going on quite well now. He was responding to questions and after the initial hesitation that is so typical to any audience in India, things had warmed up and some great questions were coming in from the audience.
Then it happened. One of my colleagues asked a question and the CEO looked him in the eye and uttered the three words: ‘I don’t know’.
I was stunned. I had come from an organization in which Leaders never said, ‘I don’t know’. They either knew everything or if they did not know, they had a way of pretending that they were in control. They would have chosen a placating, ‘let us take this offline’, or a tentative, ‘the leadership is still considering the way forward’ or a combative response, ‘I am not sure if this is the right place for this question’ but never an ‘I don’t know’ response. It was considered sacrilegious.
But then, as I was learning, this was a refreshingly different organization. It was okay to not know something and say it as it is. In this case, as a part of the CEO’s accountability, following his ‘I don’t know’ comment, he committed to find out more and let my colleague know later. And he did respond to my colleague in a week’s time with an appropriate response.
From a Leadership-learning perspective, this was a turning point for me. I learnt that it is okay for a leader to be vulnerable in public, that she or he can be authentic. It is impossible to know about everything all the time. It is only human to expect this. But I think the organization from where I came considered leaders to be superhuman.
I think we have made this ‘not knowing something’ an ego thing. Ask someone on the street for directions and very few people are willing to say, ‘I don’t know’. They would end up giving you the wrong directions. In offices, people feign control and give us unrealistic assurances. They are not comfortable saying ‘I don’t know’. Many of them have developed false notions of themselves – that if they have so many years of experience, they ought to know it. I have seen this happening in customer interactions as well. People hesitate to seek clarifications from the customer – ‘what will the customer think?’. Instead, they go with whatever they have understood… or misunderstood and bring misery to everyone involved.
I have refused to carry the burden of knowing it all because pretty early on in my life, I realized the power of ‘I don’t know’.
In the early part of my career, I used to be in tough situations and I was perfectly fine to seek help from my veteran colleagues till I mastered the process. ‘I don’t know’ situations come up at various points in our life – when we move into a new organization or into a new role, while managing a new customer or geography, or when one is assigned a new project. It also comes up when we move from an Individual Contributor role to a people-management role or when we enter the leadership zone.
For me, the ‘I don’t know’ situations have propelled me into new learning opportunities whether it meant attending formal classes or seeking coaching or mentoring from others or just by observing others. With time, as I move from ‘I don’t know’ to ‘I know’ situations, newer ‘Í don’t know’ situations continue to arise as life progresses. To me, new ‘I don’t know’ situations actually signify my continuing expansion and evolution. It is actually a good thing. I wish everyone understood it this way.
We all know that the future belongs to the younger generation. They are smart with new technologies. I have no hesitation in learning from them too. In fact, to take my writing project forward into the digital world, I am currently seeking advice from people much younger to me. I am telling them that I don’t know…and they are supporting me.
For me, ‘I don’t know’ has always opened doors. For instance, when I moved into a leadership role in the social sector a few years ago, I had very little idea of how the sector operated. When I made this transition, I came with 30 years of corporate experience behind me. While I carried certain portable skills, that context was so different. Thanks to being ready to take on many ‘I don’t know’ situations, I now take strategic decisions and I think I am quite effective. I understand the new context quite well now. As always, every time I said ‘I don’t know’, I felt supported by the Universe.
It is said that we grow old only when we stop learning. Is the ego stopping us from saying ‘I don’t know’ and keeping us away from new learning? Are you getting old sooner than necessary? Think about it.
By the way, do I have any idea if you will find this post useful? Well, I don’t know.
My first e-book, ’31 Ways to Reclaim Your Happiness’ was launched yesterday. This is available free to the subscribers of my newsletter.
Day 1 responses from my readers (extracts):
- ‘It is an awesome read’ – Divya
- ‘A stand-out e-book. Unlike the plethora of self-help books out there, this one while seemingly a breezy read, offers powerful suggestions to be oneself in ways that embrace struggle, bravery and honesty to oneself. In an age where the pursuit of happiness has become commoditized, Ramanan shifts the conversation from merely what happiness is to what happiness does.’ – Kanthi
- ‘It is an amazing book and the way you have written it is simple. It is not coming from one of those writers who sit in an ivory tower and write. This is very practical’ – Ranga
- ‘#5: Let Go – Mangaldaan is one of the great tools. Wholehearted gratitude’ – Ramesh
- ‘Your style of writing is simple, yet very effective in communicating the message’ – Vidya
- ‘Superb beginning’ – Devika
- ‘Since it has 31 chapters, I want to regularly read one chapter every day for a month’ – Shrikanth
- ‘It is not your book, it is our book now’ – Chandra
To get your free copy of the book, subscribe to my newsletter now. Please enter your details below and sign up:
